The Ribos Operation

The Doctor and K9 are called away from their plans for a holiday by the White Guardian and presented with the task of locating and gathering the six segments of the Key to Time. The Key has the power to stop time itself when assembled, and to keep it safe the segments have been scattered across the universe and disguised as other objects. The White Guardian provides the Doctor with an assistant, the Time Lady Romanadvoratrelundar (shortened to Romana), a tracer to locate the segments, and a dire warning to beware the Black Guardian, who also wants the Key to Time for his own purposes. The Doctor reluctantly agrees and the TARDIS takes them to the planet Ribos. The first segment of the Key is actually disguised as a piece of a rare mineral being used by con men Garron and Unstoffe to broker the illegal sale of the planet to the deposed Prince of Levithia, the Graff Vynda Ky. Ribos is a cold primitive world and outsiders are viewed with suspicion and greeted with hostility, but the true danger lies in incuring the wrath of the Graff himself, for if he can't buy the planet, he may just kill for it.

So Jay and I reconvened for this viewing and had a good laugh at just about all of it. In a nice way, of course. For starters there's the matter of Tom Baker's face; just prior to the commencing of the shooting of the season he was bitten on the face by a small dog named George, and despite the best efforts of the makeup ladies at the BBC it's very visible in his close-ups. From farther back it just looks like herpes. And if Tom Baker didn't want an assistant when Louise Jameson joined as Leela he certainly gets to externalize all his reservations this time; the Doctor doesn't want an assiant and from the outset he is rude to Romana. He mocks her credentials from the Academy, scorns her youth and outright laughs at her lack of experience outside of the Capitol. Romana is a bit of a snob, though, and goes about psychoanalsing the Doctor's hostility as a retort. Yes, this is going to be a match made in heaven.

As for the other characters, Jay and I think that everyone on the planet is gay. Garron? Gay. Unstoffe? Gay. The Graff? Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. All of them. Garron's funny bum-kissing accents and attutudes are just too fey to ignore. Unstoffe looks like he's had a sex change operation. And the Graff is a pampered prince used to getting his way. All the time. Even speaks of himself in the third person and swans about in his fine robes and his oh so fetching tiara/crown/hat. Problem is he is kinda hot. Nice teeth. The Seeker isn't a lesbian though. Binro looks like a homeless perv, despite being the only man on Ribos who can think for himself and thus he endures the scorn of the entire community. I mean imagine telling people that the world is round! How dare he!

Maybe the Shrivenzale is gay too. That'd be the big green lizard thing that Garron and Unstoffe drug every so often to sneak into the scared chambers of the city. Jay didn't see it at first when Romana was walking past it; it looked like a big green couch. A breathing one, mind you. The costume was so poorly realized though that when it is seen "walking" in part four it's obvious that the actor inside is crawling, dragging his back legs behind him, no matter how clever the camera angle. And what do we think of the Graff's guards with those garbage can helmets?

"They're hot," Jay said.

Actually they kinda were.

And K9. We can all see he's too wide to get through the doors of the police box. Showing him inside trying to get out is just reinforcing the fact.

First segment found, though, and five more to go. Will Romana loosen up? Will the Doctor kill her? Will K9 ever fit through those doors?

NEXT EPISODE : THE PIRATE PLANET